


Dream

by pamplemousses



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst, Dream AU, F/M, FerrisWheelShipping, N left her, NxTouko, i wrote this late at night, set after N's departure, syntax kind of like poetry, wistful!Touko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:38:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6490090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamplemousses/pseuds/pamplemousses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he left her, but Touko sees him every night in her dreams</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this will be my first published work for Pokemon! Yay! Please be wary that I wrote this late at night, and my writing skill always has room to improve (constructive criticism is welcome).  
> I love writing sad stuff about these nerds

 

“Dream”

I often dream of N.

It’s so rare now to not wake up in the morning without visions of him dancing around in my subconscious. His tea-leaf hair, alluring blue gaze, soft white smile; for the past two years, he never left my thoughts. Sometimes, I even have to remind myself that he’s actually gone, and that I won’t see his familiar face on the pillow besides me.

Sometimes.

Most times, I’ll catch sight of him in my dreams and reach out to touch him, to finally hold him. To ask N the question that has been burning patterns on my tongue for two years.

“Why did you really leave?” Usually, he fades away into oblivion before my outstretched arms can encircle his figure, and I fall through the shadows, to another vague reality with him. In those realities, all I can ever process is unfocused sifting colors, and the harmonious echo of his laughter. Whenever his laughter ends, I always find myself staring blearily into the dark spaces of my bedroom, muffled sounds from the outside world shattering the hazy allusion.

And an allusion, he is;

As routine, I allow myself a few extra minutes in bed to compose my foggy mind. From time to time, I’ll brood over past conversations with friends that included discussing N, and his disappearance. I replay statements that stuck with me long after I had spoken them.

“I regret not telling him how much our short time together had meant to me”

“To be able to remember his face clearly would be nice”

“I miss him so much. I just want to talk with him again, even if it’s for one last time”

_**“I should have left with him”** _

But.

On rare occasion, in my dreamscape, my embrace reaches his shining figure, and I’m pulling him to me with all my strength; I’m breathing in the fresh air that his presence always gave me, because nowadays all the atmosphere around me is tainted with sadness and remorse. I’ll hold him to me in the fiercest way to make up for all the chances I never took to do so, all the times his father hit him instead.

I’ll try to look at him.

**BUT**

N’s radiant face burns yellow holes into my corneas, and for the first time in my existence, I see the sun clearly, because Arceus as my creator if that was never how he appeared to me in every glance I stole.

\--

After this short encounter, I’ll wake up with a jolt; It’s always the middle of the night, which is too early, so I’ll curl up into a little ball to avoid the agony of confronting that damned empty pillow next to me.

Soon, an ache blossoms inside my chest.

An ache so heavy that it makes it difficult to expand my lungs just so I can take in oxygen that dream N had thefted. The loneliness that before seeped through the cracks of my soul will spill out through my closed eyes, and trickle down my cold cheeks, invading the space that is meant solely for the galaxy that had willfully abandoned my universe.

 **On these rare occasions** , the ghostly pain that resides inside my being surfaces through every pore to blanket all the fibers of my vulnerable body, so I can once again know the feeling of a broken heart.

_**“I MISS YOU”** _

I’ll sob;

**_“PLEASE, COME BACK TO ME”_   **

I’ll plead;

_**“I CAN’T TAKE THIS SUFFERING ANY LONGER!”** _

I’ll scream;

 

 

I’ll remain in that state until grey light filters into my loveless bedroom. Not the light that has vibrant life to it, but the light that comes from a fake sun, because the sun I know of has long been but a mere

 

dream.

 

 

.fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeeaah, my syntax was a little like poetry but eh
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! *cries*


End file.
